Blink of an Eye

#27 - The ABC Board

#27 - The ABC Board

 

If your nose itches, you scratch it. If you can’t reach something, you ask someone to help you get it. But what if you can’t do either? Sometimes the best tools we have at our disposal are not high-tech. They can cost less than a cup of coffee but can be more valuable than a brick of gold. In this episode Louise and her oldest son, Pete, talk about the ABC Board and the gift of communication it gave them with Archer who had no movement, no voice, no ability to ask, request, or express, until with one letter at a time, we learn about ordinary and extraordinary needs.  Louise also wonders about the level of intimacy one can have with professional friends.

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 24: The ABC Board August 9. DAY 5. 

Listen in afterwards to what we can learn together about trauma. Episode 24: The ABC Board Trauma Healing Lesson. 
 

In this Episode you will hear interview excerpts from

Pete Senft: Louise’s son and Archer’s oldest brother, who was 21 at the time of Archer’s accident and in college, and is now a civil engineer at Whiting Turner Construction Company.

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#26 - The ABC Board Trauma Healing Learnings

#26 - The ABC Board Trauma Healing Learnings

 

The story of Archer’s ABC board reminds us of resources within our grasp for communication such as simple tools of a notebook and pen, notes app on a phone, and a message board that you can make quickly and inexpensively. In this learning you’ll also hear why writing updates may aid you and others to live wholly again after a traumatic event and the difference in story-telling and retraumatization. You may find tips for yourself, or that you can share with a friend or family member going through a traumatic situation, tips that can aid in recovery from the trauma. Such tips can also be a bridge to relieve suffering and be the bridge for partnership between medical staff and families for patient well-being. 

If you haven’t listened already to the story behind this lesson, please listen in on Episode 24: The ABC Board.   

#25 - The Body Knows the Score Part 2

#25 - The Body Knows the Score Part 2

 

Has your heart leapt when you received a call, an email, a piece of mail, a visit from a specific person before you even knew the purpose of their communication? Do you ever tighten up with dread, fear, stress when certain people write to you as well? This is the body giving us wisdom and often protecting us, and Louise is reminded about somatic awareness. Louise continues her drive down the Garden State Parkway with James and has taken notice of those texting her that she drank in like a cool birdbath on a summer day, and others had her shoulders in her ears, holding her breath. Trauma can envelop us so deeply that we don’t even recognize where we are, when we’ve been there many times, just from a different path. Join Louise as she is reminded of the freeing beauty of silence and a long drive to let all guard down and allow emotion to take over and the body to allow its release, the start of trauma healing.

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 23: The Body Knows the Score Part 2 August 9. DAY 5. 

In this Episode you will hear interview excerpts from

James Schmucker: Archer’s dear friend in Cape May who was a Beach life guard and saved his life rescuing him from the ocean, and is currently working at Cape May Winery and Vineyard as fieldworker.

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

 

#24 - The Body Knows the Score

#24 - The Body Knows the Score

 

Heroes, including seasoned ones, experience trauma from the rescue event. It can change them forever. Louise reflected back on yesterday’s beautiful visit from Archer’s life-saving hero, James Schmucker, and the impact it had on both Archer and James as Archer expressed the gratitude he felt for his friend who saved his life. It was a gift of a deep moment between two friends, between a hero and the person he rescued. Louise wondered, How does a teenage boy process the fact that he almost lost his friend, and that he was instrumental in preventing that tragedy, that very real could have happened to him? Louise reminds us that more than the immediate circle of our “house family” is affected by a traumatic event and she begins the journey of sharing how trauma can be healed through the body. Join Louise as she takes you on a car ride on the Garden State Parkway, with James. And, she invites you to the rest of the story.

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 22: The Body Knows the Score August 9. DAY 5. 

 

In this Episode you will hear interview excerpts from

James Schmucker: Archer’s dear friend in Cape May who was a Beach life guard and saved his life rescuing him from the ocean, and is currently working at Cape May Winery and Vineyard as fieldworker.

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#23 - Never Underestimate the Humanity of Boys

#23 - Never Underestimate the Humanity of Boys

 

Louise strongly encourages, almost begs us to PLEASE GO when we have loved ones in the hospital or in a debilitating situation. Your visits are life to the person in trauma and the family caring for them. You’ll hear about the spontaneity of two friends who drove through three states knowing they just had to go, even knowing they’d be “intruding” in an intimate space. They learned they were more a part of that intimacy than they ever realized.  You’ll hear the power of a few words from the only method of communication they had with Archer - the ABC board. What Louise didn’t know is that very soon, they would all be brought to their knees longing for these moments of communication.

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 21 Never Underestimate the Humanity of Boys August 8. DAY 4. 

 

In this Episode you will hear interview excerpts from

James Shiels: One of Archer's dear high school friends from the McDonogh School in Baltimore, and a Senior in college at California Berkeley at the time of the interview. 

Philippa Shiels:  James Shiels’ mother, but a stranger then to Louise when Archer was injured except for seeing each other in passing at high school lacrosse games. She is now a dear friend to Louise.

James Schmucker:  Archer’s dear friend in Cape May who was a Beach life guard and saved his life rescuing him from the ocean who is now working at the Cape May Winery and Vineyard.

Pete Senft: Louise’s son and Archer’s oldest brother, who was 21 at the time of Archer’s accident and in college, and is now a civil engineer at Whiting Turner Construction Company.

And live audio recordings from August 8, 2015 in the Intensive Care Unit

#22 - A Most Remarkable Day

#22 - A Most Remarkable Day

 

Can a professional be both emotionally present and expert at the same time? Do professionals need professional distance in order to best serve those they are protecting? Does a doctor’s clinical distance promote healing? Louise questions this. How do doctors and nurses go home at night to their families, while patients in the Intensive Care Units and their families stay awake all night experiencing trauma, fear, despair. Louise feels compassion for the neck surgeon and also confusion as she begins to wonder and question, How do they care for themselves? Or do they? When the doctors stated, “We almost lost him” the night before last, it was electrifying and suffocating at the same time. Narrow misses. Louise was learning how many they were racking up as they headed into Day 4.  Archer’s oldest brother Pete devises a creative communication device for Archer who has no ability to move or speak, but he can blink his eyes. Come listen to a thought-provoking episode that will leave you thinking and inspired. 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 20 A Most Remarkable Day August 8. DAY 4. 

In this Episode you will hear interview excerpts from

Pete Senft, Louise’s son and Archer’s oldest brother, who was 21 at the time of Archer’s accident and in college, and is now a civil engineer at Whiting Turner Construction Company.

#21 - You Didn’t Have To, But You Did

#21 - You Didn't Have To, But You Did

 

“You almost lost your son last night,” was what that trauma nurse was really saying. It was a kindness. She didn’t have to say it, but she did. Archer had been close to dying last night and that reality was slowly and forcefully sinking in for Louise. For the very first time that she had observed, another nurse engaged Archer in conversation. She wasn’t just saying what she was doing, she was talking with him, and he with her with his eyes. She didn’t have to do that, but she did. It was kind. She pieced together the fact that Archer was a cook - a GREAT cook at the Beach Club. The extra, deep connections were flooding in from all fronts - texts to the family, especially Louise, texts from Archer’s friends, texts from friends of all areas of life. Louise wondered, When do boys become men? People were stretching themselves to hold up the Senft family in all kinds of unexpected ways. The facts were stark. Archer was paralyzed. He had lost his arms and hands and legs in a way that was not going to repair anytime soon.  It was clear, there were no lollipops and butterflies. But what else was clear?

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 19 You Didn’t Have To, But You Did August 7. DAY 3. 

 

In this Episode you will interview excerpts hear from

 

Sue Wunder, a special ed teacher for 30 years in the Cape May County Special Services School District, New Jersey. Sue is also the mother of Robbie Wunder, a quadriplegic.

 

Mike Determan, Archer’s friend since grade school days in Baltimore

And many texting friends

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#20 - Gateway to Hope

#20 - Gateway to Hope

 

It may have been easier if Pete had not shared with Louise the dark reality he had been carrying “Why Archer and not me?” “It should have been me and not Archer”. Brutal thoughts. But real thoughts. These thoughts at one end hanging in an almost stagnant state of exhausted optimism countered with a friend’s hope-filled experience of Archer, “He started squeezing my hand and held it for 20 minutes.” Hope can transform a stark reality. Hope is not optimism. Hope is when we put our trust in someone trustworthy. In these moments, Louise had her hope in Shirley, and God. These she knew she could trust. Hope requires far more courage than optimism. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks teaches, “Optimism is the belief that the world is changing for the better; hope is the belief that, together, we can make the world better.” Having a gateway to hope can lead the way through a gateway to healing. 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 18 Gateway to Hope August 7. DAY 3. 

In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from

In this episode you will hear from:

Pete Senft, Louise's oldest son, and one of Archer’s older brothers, who was 21 at the time of Archer’s accident and is today a civil engineer at Whiting Turner and lives in Baltimore.

Paula Senft Easton, Louise’s eldest child, and only daughter, and Archer’s older sister, who was 24 at the time of Archer’s accident and is today the Associate Director of Admissions for the Friends School in Baltimore.

 

Dr. Kris Radcliff, a spinal surgeon with the Rothman Institute in Philadelphia and Archer’s neck surgeon at Atlanticare in 2015.

 

Shirley Davis Rawson, a family friend of the Senft’s, the Sacristan at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen Catholic Church in Baltimore, 1996-2016, and a retired police officer with Baltimore County Police Department.

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#19 - The New North Star

#19 - The New North Star

 

Scared and confused, Louise is still hopeful, until she is told “It was just a spasm,” by a nurse who once again callously dismisses her observation of her paralyzed son she was intensely watching over. Just a spasm? Did the hospital consider the impact of those words on Archer? You’ll hear about the terror from one of Archer’s rescuers and how it really was on the beach that day.  You’ll also hear about a video of strangers who gathered on the beach to pray for Archer. The news of Archer’s traumatic accident was in the newspapers. But Louise learned the hospital had issued a statement that her family did not wish to be contacted. Why did they say that without asking them? It seemed the hospital was making this traumatic injury worse. As a mom, she was facing more barriers to get simple medical information on her son. Did the staff drug Archer? Why didn’t anyone seek her consent?  Where was the policy written to allow his mother to know everything about his care, his tests, the drugs they had going into his body, and why.  As the intensity was wearing on her family, Louise shares her views about the real patient experience and what a healing mission might look like for hospitals. Is this the way hospitals are searching for to increase patient satisfaction? Join her as she opens an exploration of hospital policies and norms and how to change those that might actually create greater suffering and increase trauma for patients and for staff too. Could there be a new approach?

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 17 The New North Star August 7. DAY 3. 

In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from

Harry Back, who was the Assistant Manager at the Beach Club in Cape May at the time of Archer’s accident, responsible for his rescue off the beach, and today is the City of Cape May Supervisor of Beaches in charge of the Cape May Beach Patrol.

and

 

Mabeth Hudson who was a long time Cape May cottager and Beach Club member at the time of Archer’s accident, and is the Founder of Well for the Journey in Baltimore. She was at the Beach Club around the time of Archer’s accident. 

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

This episode was sponsored by the Desatnick Foundation. You can find more information about their work at https://desatnickfoundation.org/.

#18 - Healing Trauma Guidebook: He Talked with God

#18 - Healing Trauma Guidebook: He Talked with God

 

Blink of an Eye is the story of a mom who receives the phone call that will change the rest of her — and her family’s — life. In this episode, you will hear a highlight from Louise's storytelling as these events dramatically, and rapidly unfolded in Episode 1: The Call, and a message for you to consider if faced with a traumatic event, as Louise shared in Episode 2: He talked with God. 

Louise invites you to listen to the full version of both Episode 1: The Call, and Episode 2: He Talked with God here.

#17 - In the Foxhole

#17 - In the Foxhole

 

Our egos and fear can overwhelm us when we are deep in the foxhole on the front lines of trauma. It was life and death as Archer struggled to breathe, both lungs collapsed. Louise had to let go of some of her old ideas about what is “proper” and just let all the rawness come out as she instinctively felt she needed to circle her troops, her community, her friends. In the midst of this unfolding trauma, she discovers a friend whose presence she felt the first time their eyes met but didn’t realize it was so mutual and so divine until Cathy G. confirmed the story. Louise also begins to explore with listeners the potential of trauma-informed Intensive Care Units and medical courses in trauma and trauma healing for nurses and doctors as part of core medical school curricula and gives a shout out to other SCI folks.

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 16 In the Foxhole

August 7. DAY 3. 

In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from

Paula Senft Easton, Louise’s eldest child, and only daughter, and Archer’s sister, who was 24 at the time of Archer’s accident and is today the Associate Director of Admissions for the Friends School in Baltimore

and

Cathy Giannascoli, a friend in Pennsylvania and the Senft family’s summer neighbor in Cape May

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

This episode is sponsored by the Desatnick Foundation. You can find more info about it at https://desatnickfoundation.org/.

#16 - You Gotta Go Through It

#16 - You Gotta Go Through It

 

Their pain and trauma is YOUR pain and trauma. This is how it can be when we watch a loved one suffering in any way. It may be simpler to wall off, bury it, or choose not to acknowledge it to lessen trauma’s grip. Oh, going that route can cause so much damage to your body, including your organs, and your ability to deal with future traumas. Nope, you can’t avoid it. You gotta go through it, sooner or later. Walk through the experience with Louise and her pillar of strength, Paula, her daughter, as they revisit how trauma of a loved one can reduce you to a spent dandelion being blown randomly in the wind. Louise will share with you a pathway to trauma healing that your bodily sensations hold for you as a guide.

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 16 You Gotta Go Through  It

August 7. DAY 3. 

In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from

Paula Senft Easton, Louise’s eldest child, and only daughter, and Archer’s sister, who was 24 at the time of Archer’s accident and is today the Associate Director of Admissions for the Friends School in Baltimore

and

Cathy Giannascoli, a friend in Pennsylvania and the Senft family’s summer neighbor in Cape May

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#15 - Soothing Texts -- What (Not) to Text

#15 - Soothing Texts -- What (Not) to Text

 

It’s not that we aren’t appreciative of the offer of help from others, but sometimes you just want to scream, “STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!” What about the innocent question, “Is there anything I can do to help?” and similar questions when we or our loved one is in an intensive care unit, or in the throws of early trauma. Caring people don’t realize the stress that chit-chat big everyday questions add. What is demanding and what is not? And Louise looks harder at the, “Oh, it’s a blessing” reply when a loved one who was suffering dies, no matter how old. Intended to be consoling, but is it? Many of these words fall under the heading, “What not to text.” Louise explores the kind of texts that are soothing to someone in trauma, and she begins an unfolding explanation of how we can understand trauma more fully. 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 15 Soothing Texts -- What (Not) to Text

August 7. DAY 3. 

In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from

Dr. Kris Radcliff, a spinal surgeon with the Rothman Institute in Philadelphia and Archer’s neck surgeon at Atlanticare in 2015

and

Mary Lou Healy, a middle school math teacher at the Cathedral School in Baltimore in 2015 at the time of Archer’s accident, and now teaching at Calvert Hall High School.

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

 

#14 - What Not to Say

#14 - What Not to Say

 

Louise saw the ashen look on her daughter’s face as they passed in the doorway. She was confused until she heard what the nurse had told Paula, Pete, and Archer, “It’s just swelling.” One sentence was a gut punch sucking the hope out of the room and maybe the life out of her son. Louise was in a hateful fury over the insensitivity of someone who was supposed to be looking out for Archer’s well-being. How do we overcome the hurts of others’ heartless words? People in authority wield a lot of power. This includes nurses. But they are not all-knowing, are they? 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 14 What Not to Say August 7. DAY 3. 

Paula Senft Easton, Louise’s eldest child, and only daughter, and Archer’s sister, who was 24 at the time of Archer’s accident and is today the Associate Director of Admissions for the Friends School in Baltimore

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#13 - Some Things Stay the Same

#13 - Some Things Stay the Same

 

Preparing visitors for what to expect when visiting your loved one in a trauma unit is critical. It’s stunning how quickly we see the new normal of machines, tubes, and life support, but it can be shocking to first-time and especially younger visitors. They may think they’ll be in the way, and they may be frightened, but the recovery of Archer is dependent on familiar faces showing up and bringing some normalcy. Most of all, such visitors allow Archer, who is tragically altered, to still be seen as himself, despite the horror of what may have been the first recognition of the new reality. 

 

The traumatic event doesn’t just impact the patient; it impacts all those around especially the ones closest to the patient. And the emotional roller coaster can cause lasting damage to their bodies. The patient needs support in every way. So do the family caregivers. Listen in for ways we can take care of the insides of our bodies to be of greatest service to those we are protecting and caring for during and after the unfolding of a traumatic event, so we can continue to show up. 

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 13 Some Things Stay the Same August 7. DAY 3. 

In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from

Robby Black, a Baltimore McDonogh high school lacrosse friend of Archer and of Louise’s son, Dewey

Bobbie Austin, a Baltimore McDonogh high school lacrosse friend of Archer and of Louise’s son, Dewey

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#12 - Holding it Together

#12 - Holding it Together

 

Random strangers entering the room day and night, her family not allowed to all be together, and medical staff thinking she was crazy without saying so. Louise still managed to go into auto-pilot as a mediator and take notes of everything that was happening. Trouble was, she, in moments of her own trauma, couldn’t write her name or realize which of her five children was in trauma. How does the brain manage trauma? She gives a rare inside look at how it really is when you are just barely holding it together in shock. If we are lucky, we have family with us, and until then a few surrogate family members standing by us, holding us up before our immediate family arrives. Dear friends slip into that role if we are lucky. If not, even a caring stranger can provide temporary stability to ensure our safety and prevent our mental collapse.

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 12 Holding it Together August 7. DAY 3. 

In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from 

Leah Marino Barsby, from Philadelphia, the then-girlfriend, now wife of Davis Barsby, who was part of Archer’s rescue off the beach at the Beach Club in Cape May

 

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#11 - What to Say

#11 - What to Say

 

Sometimes the unexpected - like a Color War - is the natural solution to ease into and ensure that life goes on after the delivery of bad news. At least that’s how it was for Louise and her family when they needed to tell their youngest son, Dutch, who was away at camp, what had happened to his big brother two days ago.

 

How much is too much bad news to share with your children? We want to be honest, We want to protect them. We want to respect they are capable of understanding. We want to instill in them the ability to work out what is scary. It’s a very personal line depending on the age, maturity and relationship you have with each of your children. Same goes for breaking bad news to siblings, and even parents and friends.

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 11 What to Say August 7. DAY 3. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Dutch Senft, Louise’s youngest son, who was 13 at the time of Archer’s accident. 

Steve Lepler, the Director of West End House Camp in Maine

Lisa Melancon, a friend of Louise’s and the mom of one of Dutch’s best friends in Baltimore

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#10 - Pray for Archer

#10 - Pray for Archer

 

No one called to tell her. Returning to the hospital from the first time she’d left Archer’s side, a pitstop at home for a few hours’ sleep and a shower, Louise was shocked and enraged at the situation she walked into. Tubes like garden hoses now protruded from Archer’s chest. Within a matter of hours, her son had undergone two emergency surgeries, and no one had called her. 

 

Feeling anger and bitterness surge through her like venom, Louise reminded herself to look for small mercies and sweet moments. One of her sons sat reading to his brother, who lay motionless next to him. Texts from friends. The power of a specific intention. The warmth of being called by name by someone who loves us. Even in chaos, even when your child looks like he is on a barbecue spit, grace and beauty surround us. 

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 10 Pray for Archer. August 7. DAY 3. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Nan Waller Burnett, Louise’s mediator friend from Denver

Mike Determan, Archer’s friend since grade school days in Baltimore

Kathie Okun, Louise’s friend in Baltimore from Women President’s Organization

Cathy Giannascoli, Mom of Danny Giannascoli, Louise’s friend, and the Senft’s summer neighbor in Cape May  

And many texters.

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#9 - Archer’s Tree Weeps Too: She Knows

#9 - Archer’s Tree Weeps Too: She Knows

 

Sweet but painful visuals as Louise looked around the house where a lacrosse stick, a razor, even a tree reminded her of the past, how it was, and the now. This tree that Archer grew up with “Archer’s tree” as they called her was the only tree in the area with leaves falling. It was as if she knew what had happened to Archer. As Louise surveyed the house, and the yard, she was bombarded by not only those details, but of everyday skills and tasks that we take for granted. Do you believe your emotions are the pathway healing? Louise does and invites us to love deeply. She also makes promises to God, the Divine, that she, Louise, will experience daily life as precious. 

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 9 Archer’s Tree Weeps Too: She Knows August 7. DAY 3. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Parker Mitchell, Archer’s good friend from Baltimore lacrosse and high school who was visiting the Senfts 

Danny Giannascoli, Archer’s good friend and Cape May neighbor whom he's grown up with

James Schmucker, Archer’s good friend in Cape May

Patty Schmucker, Mom of James and Jacqui Schmucker who both worked with Archer at the Beach Club

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything

#8 - The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

#8 - The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

 

Louise begged to know, “Will he get his hands back? He needs his hands because he’s an artist and a cook!” Truth is devastating and tough to swallow. The response was no different, “Not likely.” Sometimes people hold information that we are owed. They try to protect us by tucking it away until “the right time” or a better time to share it with us. They also withhold hope when the answer isn’t truly concrete and based in fact. There is not a good time to hear bad news. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find the truth and combine it from several sources, weigh it against what you want to believe and hope for, and what is factual. But it can be delivered with gentility, compassion, and love.

 

Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 8 The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth August 6. DAY 2. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from  

Dr. Kris Radcliffe, a spinal surgeon with the Rothman Institute in Philadelphia. In August 2015, Dr. Radcliff was an associate professor of orthopedic surgery with a joint appointment in neurological surgery. On August 5, 2015, he was Archer’s neck surgeon 

Lisa Melancon, family friend and mother of one of Louise’s son Dutch’s best friends in Baltimore

Dr. Kelly Willham at AtlantiCare, New Jersey, a trauma surgeon in the ICU

#hopeforeverything   #obtaineverything